So each day I'm here I realize how hard it really is to communicate with the outside world. I'm so sorry that it has been three weeks since the last post! So I will try to inform you but not drown you with details- only the details that matter :)
Our theme we decided on for the rest of the summer is "Wasted." This is controversial and bold but we wanted it that way. When you are "wasted" you are totally consumed and under the control of alcohol. But in contrast to that we want to be wasted by the Holy Spirit. Totally consumed by Him and surrendered to His control.
The planning and organizing of project has been extremely draining and just really hard. I have had multiple break downs just from being so physically and mentally exhausted. But each time God consistently reminds me that I am being broken for a bigger purpose. I am being broken so I can be rebuild and remolded into a woman who reflects and radiates who He is.
I've realized that I am not the only one trying. And one can only "try" so hard. God is trying and He is the one who has the ultimate power to be able to change me for the better.
Around day 35, I realize it was the halfway point of project. Crazy! After my friends visited me, after my mom and Jeff visited, my heart was suddenly checked out of project and I was just focused on when I would get home. Part of that was just excited to see everyone again, but the other part was that I just want to apply what I'm learning and how I'm growing in the real world! For a couple weeks I was just really down and feeling drained. I wasn't feeling wasted by the Holy Spirit. If we had magically removed the Holy Spirit from project, would it have looked any different? No. Not at all. Well, multiple people had been feeling like this. So the leadership team made the executive decision to lift all requirements. If you don't feel like going to Bible study, you don't have to go. If you want to lay in your bed all day- go ahead.
The heart behind it was that when staff left, we felt like we were simply given a formula on how to run project. There are really really good things in the formula but it's still a formula. When you have the freedom to choose how you want to spend your summer instead of having requirements for where you have to be and when, it become more apparent where your heart is.
Jesus died on the cross so that we would follow Him ultimately and not so that we would simply follow rules.
Rules are so good and I think that the first 5 weeks of structure was so challenging to me and I was pushed to do things I normally wouldn't do on my own like going to the boardwalk to talk to people about Jesus 3 or 4 times a week. But now, it's time to run with what staff has trained us with and to make it our own.
So through this whole process God did so much convicting. And let's be honest. Being convicted and agreeing with God about your sin is NOT an easy thing haha... it was really hard. So hard that I can honestly look back at the time on this project and say it was one of the hardest things I have even been through in my life.
The main thoughts going through my head lately have been, "God, what would it look like if I gave my entire heart, soul, and mind over to You? What could You do in my life? What could you do through me? "
In my head, I have this image of who I want to be. It's this image of a women who is so radically in love with Jesus. Why can't I be that woman now? I want to live with extravagant devotion! And that can start now which is so so exciting to me.
We talked a lot about international missions so I have searched my heart a lot about that and where I stand on that. I want to have this bifocal vision where I can see my own need for the Gospel, the need of those close people around me, and having a heart for the world as well. Where I'm at now is that my "yes" is on the table for however God wants to use me- I'm 100% in. I just don't know what that looks like right this second.
Work has been HARD haha... I only work 8 more days but I think God has done some pretty sweet things through working in a rough environment. I have build some great relationships with co-workers. I haven't had as much spiritual conversation as I thought but I think God used me and my attitude towards work to shed some light on who He is.
I'm growing closer with the people here. The co-op I'm in (boys room paired with a girls room) is incredible. To see brothers in Christ serving us so well and learning how to love each other with a Christ like love has been so humbling and just so great and fun!
I'm scared of how different my life could be if I give it all to Jesus. I can't see Him fully yet but I desire to so badly. I was saved and I am being saved every single day. How great is that :)
That was a heavy summary but overall:
Virginia Beach Summer Project=Absolutely incredible
Thank you all for being so patient with me! Keep sending me your thoughts and prayer requests. You don't know how encouraging they are :)
Can't wait to see you all soon hopefully! Only 20 days left and I can't wait to tell you all about what God continues to do!!!
Much love :)
July 20, 2011
June 29, 2011
Day 13-27!
It is close to impossible to summarize the last 2 weeks but first of all I am so sorry it's taken me this long to post again!
Overall, Project is going SO well. I'm learning more than I've ever learned in my life, it's incredible hard, but I'm having too much fun for words to describe :) I'll give you little tidbits of what's been happening!
I've learned how real Jesus is... that He is powerful, love, dangerous, and my Savior as well as my Lord. One of the speakers asked, "How would you feel is Jesus spoke directly to you, looked into your eyes; chose to spend His time with you?" Well that can happen through reading God's Word! So cool.
In relation to work, I have been told that my tshirt folding is "immaculate" and that I have a skill in smiling. What an honor. Maybe I am called to do souvenir sales for the rest of my life haha.... But in all seriousness I have been getting closer to some of my coworkers which has been suuuuch a blessing.
We had an incredible (INCREDIBLE) women's time where we talked about whether or not we actually know how. much. the Lord is pursuing us individually...That He saved us. Saved us! I forget that sometimes... That if we simply get on our knees, God will meet us there.
We've had these beautiful worship nights where it's just songs and us and Jesus. One night we sang all of my favorite worship songs in a row! "Sweetly Broken, Take my Life, and Lead me to the Cross"
Lead Me to the Cross has been the song of my heart lately. Some of the lyrics are "Lead me to the cross, where your loved poured out. Bring my to me knees Lord lay me down. Rid me of myself I belong to you. Lord lead me." I sing it all the time and my roommates are getting annoyed I think haha :)
This week is "Killing the Giants Week" where we spend even more time sharing the Gospel and having spiritual conversations with coworkers or people on the beach. Giants to kill could be anything from someone at home that you're scared to share with, or a certain type of group that is intimidating to you. For me, I am incredibly intimidated by older males because I feel like they think I know nothing... but just this week I have had awesome conversations with 4 older males so God is helping me and pushing me to kill my giants :)
I shared my Real Life Story (A less "churchy" word for testimony) in front of the whole project last Thursday. It was so great! I was pretty nervous but after I spoke about what God has done and is doing in my life now, so many people came up to me saying that they had been touched and wanted to talk more. I couldn't be more thankful that God spoke through me and that by His Grace maybe my story can help others with their walks.
I've sort of been in this place where I feel comfortable... so I've been asking God to challenge me and push me even more; to expose even more of my sin so that I can continue to be even more refined and more like Him.
Also, the other big news is that I have been chosen to be on the Project Executive Board when the project staff leaves. It's a really complex process and in the most humble way possible I am so so honored! There will be two of us who will be Spiritual Growth Leaders. That means that when staff leaves, for the last 5 weeks of project we will be in charge of discipleship, Bible studies, and how the project people are growing as a whole. I could not be more excited!! It's up to the leaders working side by side with Jesus to determine how the rest of the project goes and how people grow.... I know He is going to do incredible things and I just can't wait :)
I have also been feeling like I'm in this haze where I can't really put a finger on what I'm doing or specifically what God is doing in my life. I have learned that that feeling comes directly from not spending quality time in the Word and not walking in the Spirit. So would just really really appreciate it if you all could be praying that I spend meaningful time with Jesus every day so that I can not spend so much time on myself but more time on reaching out to others! I so want spreading the Gospel in any way to be the main priority in my life. And please keep continuing to let me know how you all are doing and how I can be praying for you as well! This is a team effort here :)
Much love to you all!
Overall, Project is going SO well. I'm learning more than I've ever learned in my life, it's incredible hard, but I'm having too much fun for words to describe :) I'll give you little tidbits of what's been happening!
I've learned how real Jesus is... that He is powerful, love, dangerous, and my Savior as well as my Lord. One of the speakers asked, "How would you feel is Jesus spoke directly to you, looked into your eyes; chose to spend His time with you?" Well that can happen through reading God's Word! So cool.
In relation to work, I have been told that my tshirt folding is "immaculate" and that I have a skill in smiling. What an honor. Maybe I am called to do souvenir sales for the rest of my life haha.... But in all seriousness I have been getting closer to some of my coworkers which has been suuuuch a blessing.
We had an incredible (INCREDIBLE) women's time where we talked about whether or not we actually know how. much. the Lord is pursuing us individually...That He saved us. Saved us! I forget that sometimes... That if we simply get on our knees, God will meet us there.
We've had these beautiful worship nights where it's just songs and us and Jesus. One night we sang all of my favorite worship songs in a row! "Sweetly Broken, Take my Life, and Lead me to the Cross"
Lead Me to the Cross has been the song of my heart lately. Some of the lyrics are "Lead me to the cross, where your loved poured out. Bring my to me knees Lord lay me down. Rid me of myself I belong to you. Lord lead me." I sing it all the time and my roommates are getting annoyed I think haha :)
This week is "Killing the Giants Week" where we spend even more time sharing the Gospel and having spiritual conversations with coworkers or people on the beach. Giants to kill could be anything from someone at home that you're scared to share with, or a certain type of group that is intimidating to you. For me, I am incredibly intimidated by older males because I feel like they think I know nothing... but just this week I have had awesome conversations with 4 older males so God is helping me and pushing me to kill my giants :)
I shared my Real Life Story (A less "churchy" word for testimony) in front of the whole project last Thursday. It was so great! I was pretty nervous but after I spoke about what God has done and is doing in my life now, so many people came up to me saying that they had been touched and wanted to talk more. I couldn't be more thankful that God spoke through me and that by His Grace maybe my story can help others with their walks.
I've sort of been in this place where I feel comfortable... so I've been asking God to challenge me and push me even more; to expose even more of my sin so that I can continue to be even more refined and more like Him.
Also, the other big news is that I have been chosen to be on the Project Executive Board when the project staff leaves. It's a really complex process and in the most humble way possible I am so so honored! There will be two of us who will be Spiritual Growth Leaders. That means that when staff leaves, for the last 5 weeks of project we will be in charge of discipleship, Bible studies, and how the project people are growing as a whole. I could not be more excited!! It's up to the leaders working side by side with Jesus to determine how the rest of the project goes and how people grow.... I know He is going to do incredible things and I just can't wait :)
I have also been feeling like I'm in this haze where I can't really put a finger on what I'm doing or specifically what God is doing in my life. I have learned that that feeling comes directly from not spending quality time in the Word and not walking in the Spirit. So would just really really appreciate it if you all could be praying that I spend meaningful time with Jesus every day so that I can not spend so much time on myself but more time on reaching out to others! I so want spreading the Gospel in any way to be the main priority in my life. And please keep continuing to let me know how you all are doing and how I can be praying for you as well! This is a team effort here :)
Much love to you all!
June 15, 2011
Day 9,10,11, 12!
Again with the craziness... but I absolutely adore it :) Went to church on Sunday and this week we'll find out what church we're going to for the rest of the summer. I went to the beach with my roommates and took a nap in the sunshine which was just incredible. We had our first Impact Dinner (a boys Bible study meeting with a girls Bible study). It was so fun! We all got to know each other really well and laughed a lot while eating delicious pizza at a local place. Also.... drum roll.... we won the House of Fame contest! It's a weekly contest we have for cleanest room. You win this giant silver horn which is a trophy of sorts. It's called The SCHOCC. ("Shock" Silver Horn of Cleanliness Celebration). We have placed it on a shelf with pride and hope to win it every week. What an honor haha....
I'm having such a good time and I can't express to you how much the Lord is working in my heart... I just want to make sure I'm not "wasting" project. I want to be working for the Lord with my job as well as making sure I have alone time with Jesus to process all of this awesomeness I'm going through. It's a crazy schedule but what wonderful practice! Because I know that as I get older, I'm probably going to have less free time.
Monday was my first official day of work and I'd say it went well! It was extremely chaotic and it's a lot to remember. Plus the people I work with are not exactly rays of sunshine but God wants me to be light to them which I will absolutely try my hardest to do :)
Ok then my favorite talk of Project happened on Monday. Jan and Jim Sylvester are here this week and they have been project directors with Cru for over thirty years. Jan spoke during our women's time and it was just so convicting.
She talked about how when we are Christians, we have a new identity. But how do we really LIVE in that new identity? What a practical question. We have been trained so well as performers. We can easily make people believe everything is ok in our lives just by the way we act. But the change needs to happen in the center of our hearts, not as a performance.
Proverbs 23:7 blew my mind. It says "...for he is the man who is always thinking about the cost..." meaning that how I SEE myself is how I project who I am.
She talked about hurts in our lives and how those hurts enact this profound wounding process that creates lies on our head. For example, your dad is abusive. How would that affect how you view other people, yourself, and the Lord? You would think you are never worth it, you wouldn't trust people or let them in, and think that God might be controlling just like that man in your life.
The Devil's lies are based on wounds in our life. He knows how to control us; when we're at our weakest point; and what fears we have. As you grow, these lies become foundational and just what you know as normal. They define us. Limit us.
So we have to ask Jesus- "Where have I been wounded? What lies am I believing about You, others, and myself?"
We have to capture Truth, do it, and believe it. We have to train ourselves to filter our own thoughts and be filled with the Spirit instead of sin. Those pains and lies in our lives are twisted. That's not how God talks to you so don't talk to yourself like that.
We have to RECOGNIZE wrong thinking. REJECT this thinking. And REPLACE the lie with God's truth.
Only God tells me who I am.
I've given so much of myself and my life to the Enemy and I have to take it back by force.
So the summary thought I've been having in my head since I've been here is that I want nothing more than to be a woman of the Lord. That's what I'm clinging to and that's what I'm focused on. I am who I am because I belong to the Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit makes me competent.
How freeing is that???
That was a bit of an overkill with writing but I just want the whole world to know that we are who we are because of Christ and nothing else.
Today is my day off and I'm meeting with that speaker Jan to just hear more Truth; meeting with my discipler; date night with Jesus tonight; then prayer and praise. I can't think of a better way to spend a day. Unless I got to see all of YOU today as well :)
Know that I am praying for each and every one of you individually and that the Love of Christ is magnificent enough to cover all of us and all of our sins. So good.
Much love :)
I'm having such a good time and I can't express to you how much the Lord is working in my heart... I just want to make sure I'm not "wasting" project. I want to be working for the Lord with my job as well as making sure I have alone time with Jesus to process all of this awesomeness I'm going through. It's a crazy schedule but what wonderful practice! Because I know that as I get older, I'm probably going to have less free time.
Monday was my first official day of work and I'd say it went well! It was extremely chaotic and it's a lot to remember. Plus the people I work with are not exactly rays of sunshine but God wants me to be light to them which I will absolutely try my hardest to do :)
Ok then my favorite talk of Project happened on Monday. Jan and Jim Sylvester are here this week and they have been project directors with Cru for over thirty years. Jan spoke during our women's time and it was just so convicting.
She talked about how when we are Christians, we have a new identity. But how do we really LIVE in that new identity? What a practical question. We have been trained so well as performers. We can easily make people believe everything is ok in our lives just by the way we act. But the change needs to happen in the center of our hearts, not as a performance.
Proverbs 23:7 blew my mind. It says "...for he is the man who is always thinking about the cost..." meaning that how I SEE myself is how I project who I am.
She talked about hurts in our lives and how those hurts enact this profound wounding process that creates lies on our head. For example, your dad is abusive. How would that affect how you view other people, yourself, and the Lord? You would think you are never worth it, you wouldn't trust people or let them in, and think that God might be controlling just like that man in your life.
The Devil's lies are based on wounds in our life. He knows how to control us; when we're at our weakest point; and what fears we have. As you grow, these lies become foundational and just what you know as normal. They define us. Limit us.
So we have to ask Jesus- "Where have I been wounded? What lies am I believing about You, others, and myself?"
We have to capture Truth, do it, and believe it. We have to train ourselves to filter our own thoughts and be filled with the Spirit instead of sin. Those pains and lies in our lives are twisted. That's not how God talks to you so don't talk to yourself like that.
We have to RECOGNIZE wrong thinking. REJECT this thinking. And REPLACE the lie with God's truth.
Only God tells me who I am.
I've given so much of myself and my life to the Enemy and I have to take it back by force.
So the summary thought I've been having in my head since I've been here is that I want nothing more than to be a woman of the Lord. That's what I'm clinging to and that's what I'm focused on. I am who I am because I belong to the Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit makes me competent.
How freeing is that???
That was a bit of an overkill with writing but I just want the whole world to know that we are who we are because of Christ and nothing else.
Today is my day off and I'm meeting with that speaker Jan to just hear more Truth; meeting with my discipler; date night with Jesus tonight; then prayer and praise. I can't think of a better way to spend a day. Unless I got to see all of YOU today as well :)
Know that I am praying for each and every one of you individually and that the Love of Christ is magnificent enough to cover all of us and all of our sins. So good.
Much love :)
June 11, 2011
Day 5, 6, 7, 8!-Again!
So I posted I very entertaining post yesterday but it DIDN'T SAVE. Shoot :)
So let's try again. The last couple days have been so incredible... really hard. But in the end, the best news of the day is that I got a job! It's at Sunsations. "Your Beach Department Store." So if you need a towel with wolf designs on it, a carved wooden turtle, or a bucket of shells, I'm your girl.
So my general schedule is this: It's crazy so stick with me...
Monday: Work 8:30-4, Women's Time at night
Tuesday: Work 8:30-4. Bible Study at night
Wednesday: Day off from work, Discipleship Time, Date night with Jesus (Which is great!), Praise and Worship
Thursday: Work 8:30-4, Large Group Meeting (Called PacAve)
Friday: Work 8:30-4, Free day!
Saturday: Work 8:30-3, All Project Dinner, Sharing on the beach/boardwalk at night
Sunday: Church, Free Afternoon, Ministry meetings at night
So that's the basic schedule with more little things added in there.
It's just the best here... I know I keep saying that but it's been great :) I was honestly frustrated with God with the whole job thing because it was such a messy process but He never fails to have my best intentions at heart!! I will be working with a very... eclectic group of people to say the least but it will be wonderful ministry and I am honestly really excited about working with them! While I've been learning and growing... learning specifically about God's character and how He continues to grow me and mold me and love me through my brokenness; I've just been having so much fun! I laughed harder and longer last night than I have in forever. These people are great, I'm getting my barrings for the city , and God is loving me to the max.
Sorry for the long post but I had a lot to report! More to come :) Hope you are all having wonderfully incredible days!
-Linds
So let's try again. The last couple days have been so incredible... really hard. But in the end, the best news of the day is that I got a job! It's at Sunsations. "Your Beach Department Store." So if you need a towel with wolf designs on it, a carved wooden turtle, or a bucket of shells, I'm your girl.
So my general schedule is this: It's crazy so stick with me...
Monday: Work 8:30-4, Women's Time at night
Tuesday: Work 8:30-4. Bible Study at night
Wednesday: Day off from work, Discipleship Time, Date night with Jesus (Which is great!), Praise and Worship
Thursday: Work 8:30-4, Large Group Meeting (Called PacAve)
Friday: Work 8:30-4, Free day!
Saturday: Work 8:30-3, All Project Dinner, Sharing on the beach/boardwalk at night
Sunday: Church, Free Afternoon, Ministry meetings at night
So that's the basic schedule with more little things added in there.
It's just the best here... I know I keep saying that but it's been great :) I was honestly frustrated with God with the whole job thing because it was such a messy process but He never fails to have my best intentions at heart!! I will be working with a very... eclectic group of people to say the least but it will be wonderful ministry and I am honestly really excited about working with them! While I've been learning and growing... learning specifically about God's character and how He continues to grow me and mold me and love me through my brokenness; I've just been having so much fun! I laughed harder and longer last night than I have in forever. These people are great, I'm getting my barrings for the city , and God is loving me to the max.
Sorry for the long post but I had a lot to report! More to come :) Hope you are all having wonderfully incredible days!
-Linds
June 7, 2011
Day 4!
Hard day today but that's ok :) We had another incredible morning session all about community and how important it is throughout this summer any at any point in life. I went job hunting today as well. And as of right now I am very tired and very hot haha... it's hard work being a grown up! I turned in some applications so we'll see what great things God does! In reference to having jobs this summer, this morning we also talked about the fact that we are the "fragrance of God" at work. We are working for Him which is so exciting! I can't wait to start working and help people to know the love of God through the way I work. We have our first Bible study tonight on Philippians and I'm so excited! This is not nearly as important but my roommates and I planned a list of pranks that we want to pull soon. It's going to be a great summer :)
Much love! Thank you all for being so encouraging!! God is incredible!
Much love! Thank you all for being so encouraging!! God is incredible!
June 6, 2011
Day 3!
I can't believe it's only been 3 days. I feel like I've been here for 3 weeks! Today we had our first morning session and it was just incredible. My brain and heart are going to absolutely explode from everything I'm learning this summer. Which is a GREAT kind of explosion :)
This summer the theme is "Experience Jesus, Embrace transformation, and Engage in The Mission." Could you get a better theme than that? No way. Well today we discussed HOW we can experience Jesus this summer. We had different stations set up around the room with different activities. I just loved it!
Then I got to talk to mom on the phone which was equally as great. Pray for my sister please! She is really sick and being sick away from home is no fun at all.
Lastly, I just met my Bible study for the summer and they are wonderful. It is 4 girls total and my Bible Study leader, Courtney. They are all so sweet and have incredible stories of how God has been working in their lives. We were THOSE girls at the bagel shop for a grand total of 4 hours but it was great haha
I am feeling more and more connected as the days go on and I just can't get enough of what we're learning about. Thank you again for your prayers! Will check in tomorrow :)
This summer the theme is "Experience Jesus, Embrace transformation, and Engage in The Mission." Could you get a better theme than that? No way. Well today we discussed HOW we can experience Jesus this summer. We had different stations set up around the room with different activities. I just loved it!
Then I got to talk to mom on the phone which was equally as great. Pray for my sister please! She is really sick and being sick away from home is no fun at all.
Lastly, I just met my Bible study for the summer and they are wonderful. It is 4 girls total and my Bible Study leader, Courtney. They are all so sweet and have incredible stories of how God has been working in their lives. We were THOSE girls at the bagel shop for a grand total of 4 hours but it was great haha
I am feeling more and more connected as the days go on and I just can't get enough of what we're learning about. Thank you again for your prayers! Will check in tomorrow :)
June 5, 2011
HERE!
Hello Everyone!
I made it! It was a long day of traveling but not too bad actually. God is good and kept me safe and got me here so I'd say it was a success :)
I met 3/5 of my roommates and got all of my stuff settled, went to church this morning and went to the grocery this afternoon!
Everything was very hectic but I know it will calm down soon.
I haven't met too many students quite yet but I will tonight at our meeting. I have met a lot of staff though and they are all so great!
I am less nervous and am even more confident that God is going to do great things this summer.
Nothing too exciting to report but I'll post some pictures of my home for the next 10 weeks :)
Much love!
I made it! It was a long day of traveling but not too bad actually. God is good and kept me safe and got me here so I'd say it was a success :)
I met 3/5 of my roommates and got all of my stuff settled, went to church this morning and went to the grocery this afternoon!
Everything was very hectic but I know it will calm down soon.
I haven't met too many students quite yet but I will tonight at our meeting. I have met a lot of staff though and they are all so great!
I am less nervous and am even more confident that God is going to do great things this summer.
Nothing too exciting to report but I'll post some pictures of my home for the next 10 weeks :)
Much love!
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